Mom's Dictionary.

Motherhood is entirely a different world. New routines, new priorities and yeah...even new words to learn. Or should I say, old dictionary words but with different meanings to adapt.

Check this out:

Bottle feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too.

Defense: What you'd better have around de yard if you're going to let the children play outside.

Drooling: How teething babies wash their chins.

Family planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster

Full name: What you call your child when you're mad at him.

Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.

Independent: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

Look out: What it's too late for your child to do by the time you scream it.

Prenatal: When your life was still somewhat your own.

Prepared childbirth: A contradiction in terms.

Show off: A child who is more talented than yours.

Whoops: An exclamation that translates roughly into "get a sponge."