To Spank or Not To Spank.

It’s undeniable that most of us, if not all, at one point of our childhood years experienced spanking from our parents as a form of “discipline”. It is because physical discipline was also part of their childhood lives and that they believe that it is indeed the right way of administering control over a child’s behavior. I know of someone who disciplines her son in such a physical manner. But as they say, to each is his own so I would just like to ask her: Does hitting with a belt, hanger, or stick, pinching, slapping or directing a child kneel over salt or mongo seeds do really effectively set straight one’s misconduct? Does it clearly convey to the child the reason why he’s summoned that way?

In my opinion, laying violent hands on a child does no good at all. It may appear effective, providing a quick fix and momentarily ends a certain behavior but it’s only up to there. A parent may feel victorious instantly but hitting a child teaches him what not to do AT THE MOMENT. It doesn’t actually teach him the behavior that he must otherwise adapt lastingly. So most of the time, a parent finds himself hitting his youngster over and over because the child also reverts to that attitude, thinking that it’s okay to do it as long as Mommy and Daddy doesn’t catch him doing it or else, he may go through the pain again. Yes, it’s the pain that motivates a child not to do a certain act and not because he knows his deed is entirely wrong. A parent who spanked his kid may have relayed his message loud and clear but unknowingly, he missed the opportunity of helping his child learn and develop better communication and behavioral skills.

Being a parent is undoubtedly a difficult task because it is in a parent’s hand how a child may be cultivated to become a one behaved, disciplined being. Although we are the parents and that we have the right to do what we want on them as we may see our children “our” possessions, careful judgment and means must be exercised in instilling discipline on them. And it’s just ironic, while they are protective and don’t want their youngsters to be hit by other kids, by their teachers or by anybody else, then why them.. their OWN parents are the ones who get so cruel to lay violent hands on them?

Further, studies show that spanking produces long term harmful consequences including development of aggressive, oppositional, anti-social and hyperactive behavior. Bottom line, there’s nothing more effective way of disciplining a child than having a clear, deep and heart to heart talk.


With my 8 month old Asher Malik, although he already has his own mischief sometimes and may be too young and immature yet to be disciplined through a discussion, I believe that patience and temperament are the virtues that I should start training myself with at this period. Sooner or later, I am faced with a misbehaving toddler or a kid, a challenge that comes with every parental responsibility. And with that responsibility is our duty of being a barometer or gauge of good and right to our children by being their role models. They look up to us as their idols, teachers, guides and protectors. They have their full trust on us and that breaks if we become pain, shock or fear inflictors. To summarize all these, the real key to raising well-behaved children are positive and respectful discipline.